Incredibly Light
by Diary
Summary: Re-posted under different title. Kevin Davis briefly reappears, and Luke is finally able to truly make peace with the past. Complete.


Disclaimer: I do not own As the World Turns.

* * *

Luke tries to get there in time to prevent the fall, but he's not fast enough.

Tears fall from the little girl's eyes as she looks at her bleeding knee in hurt betrayal. She's chubby child with bright orange glasses, light brown hair in braided puppy-dog ears, and heterchromia, her left eye hazel, her right eye a dark blue. She's wearing a hot pink skort, a white shirt with multi-coloured beads that make a large cat in the middle of it, and green flip-flops.

"Hey," he says, approaching her carefully. When Faith was her age, if a stranger had approached, she'd have run, screaming. On the other hand, when Natalie and Ethan were that age, they both would have been happy. "Are you okay?"

She frowns up at him, tears still silently falling. "Daddy's not going to let me go to the party now," she tells him, as if he personally has something to do with that. "I'm not supposed to bleed. It's not like normal people."

Nodding, he kneels down. Looking closer, he feels his stomach drop. Haemophilia, his mind supplies. "Where is your daddy," he asks, keeping his voice calm and friendly.

"I didn't like the babysitter," she says, sullenly. "I was going to be back by twelve; I have a watch." Holding up her arm, she shows him a digital watch with some Disney princess on it.

"It's very nice," Luke says. "Honey, your daddy's going to be more worried than mad. I need to get him or your mommy. You're hurt."

"I don't know where he is," she says, her crying getting louder. "He's working, and Mommy's not allowed to see us!"

Not liking the look of her knee, Luke quickly calls Reid, hoping his boyfriend hasn't already started the surgery scheduled for this morning.

"Luke? You okay?"

Letting out a sigh of relief, Luke says, "No. There's a haemophiliac girl who's skinned her knee, and neither of her parents are available. Can you send somebody, and tell me what to do in the meantime?"

"Yeah, just a second." He hears Reid's muffled voice, and then, "Is she..."

000

At the hospital, Reid gives him a quick kiss. "She's fine. Doogie managed to get a hold of her father. How are you?"

"Better. I'm sorry you had to reschedule your surgery."

"It's not going to hurt Mr O'Quinn to wait until this afternoon." They sit down on a nearby bench, and Reid reaches over to hold Luke's hand. "How'd you know she had haemophilia? She can't even pronounce that word."

"Don't sound so guarded," Luke teases.

"Someone in your dysfunctional family has it, don't they," Reid inquires, tone resigned.

Trying to keep from laughing, Luke says, "You told me you had a history of haemophilia in your family, remember? I was curious and did some research, found some doctors who were good at translating medical jargon to simple English."

"I can translate," Reid protests. "And yes, there's a history, but I don't have it."

"Reid," Luke says, pointedly. "Katie has you permanently barred from seeing Jacob should he require medical assistance. That doesn't tell you something?"

"I promised him I would answer all his questions honestly, man-to-man."

Sighing, Luke squeezes Reid's hand. "I love you. Even if you can't translate doctor-to-normal human to save anyone's sanity and somehow manage to make even the children you do like cry."

"Jacob loves me."

"Yeah, he does," Luke agrees, softly.

They start to lean towards one another.

"Doctor Oliver?"

Sighing, both stand, and Luke feels himself freeze, recognising the man, who looks older but otherwise hasn't changed much.

"That's me," Reid says.

"I'm Kevin Davis; you have my daughter, Pacey? Is she's alright? What happened? Where is she?"

Luke quickly walks away as Reid begins talking, his heart pounding.

000

His first thought once he leaves the hospital is to find some vodka.

Thankfully, he catches himself before he can head towards the nearest liquor store.

"What is wrong with me?" He wonders, aloud.

Two years ago, Luke had gotten drunk. Reid had been deathly quiet in the aftermath. After Casey had shown up, Reid simply left. Later, when Luke found him, Reid had been crying. It had shaken Luke to the core to see Reid do such a thing.

He loves Reid. He can't do that to him, can't cause such pain. Or rather, he can't do it again.

More than that, he cares about himself. He wants to live life, to be as healthy as he can be with his damaged kidneys. He wants to be around to spend time with his family, friends, and Reid.

Taking a ragged breath, he heads to the farm, thankful he doesn't have any meetings today or any important projects.

000

"Luke."

Looking up from his place on the ground, Luke grins. Reid's changed into a worn pair of jeans and a simple black t-shirt. Luke can't help the way seeing him makes his face heat up. "Hey. Sit down."

Reid does, taking Luke's hand, fingers curling around the wrist. He sighs, knowing what Reid is doing and unsure how he feels about it. "I haven't drank."

"Good." His voice is steady, but Luke hears the subtle relief and fear. "I told Mr Davis that someone had called the hospital when they realised she was haemophiliac, but I didn't give your name. If you want to contact him-"

No, he doesn't. Shaking his head, he asks, "How is she?"

"Pacey Davis?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. Unhappy about not getting to go to some party. You know I'm not allowed to tell you much more. Really, I shouldn't have even told you that much."

Nodding, Luke wraps an arm around Reid's waist, leaning his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I'm just glad she's okay. She scared me earlier." Whatever his feelings towards Kevin, he can't stomach the thought of the little girl in extremely funky clothes being seriously ill.

Clearing his throat, Reid says, tentatively, "You never talk about him. I mean, you told me about him, but you still talk about Noah. You don't him."

Smiling somewhat bitterly, Luke replies, "I never loved him. I mean, I was a kid, and back then, I would have done almost anything for him. I was as close to in love as a lonely kid with a hot, amazing best friend could be. But he was never my family. And once the blinders finally came off, I didn't even like him."

"He still has an effect on you, though," Reid notes, tone non-judgemental.

"Yeah. I guess so," Luke agrees. "Look, Reid- Being called certain things by someone you don't care about is bad enough. Being called that by the person you've been close to since middle school- It wasn't just his words and actions. With Damian and my mom, I just needed something, and I don't get my teenage logic now, but back then, it made sense to me that Kevin could give it. And I don't know why years later, he can still get me."

"You can't help the effect people have on your feelings," Reid says, quietly. He slides his hand under Luke's shirt, resting gently on the transplant scar. It's still sensitive to touch but not unpleasant, and Luke feels a shiver go through him. He feels safe and secure when Reid touches it. "All you can do is try to control how you react to the effect."

Smiling slightly, Luke remembers Reid asking, 'How do I make you feel?'

At the time, he'd hated the question, had felt trapped, and if not for Reid's beeper, would have kissed him just to prolong having to try to give a verbal answer. Back then, he would have insisted he was still in love with Noah. Now, he doesn't know whether he was or wasn't, but he's no longer denying that even then, whatever his feelings for Noah, he had been falling hard for Reid Oliver.

He knows Reid is sometimes insecure about Noah. If Luke could go back in time, he'd try to make it so things ended differently, better, than they did, but he wouldn't try to fix he and Noah. He's grateful for the time they were together, but he's happier with Reid than he was when he and Noah were together. He loves Noah, is happy they're back to being good friends, and sincerely hopes Noah finds someone who works well with him, who makes him feel as happy as Reid does Luke.

"What are you thinking?"

"About how you make me feel," Luke answers, leaning over to kiss Reid.

"Yeah? How's that," Reid asks, grinning.

"Really stupid for wanting to find some vodka earlier," Luke answers, leaning over to kiss Reid's neck. "And incredibly lucky."

"There's no need to get all mushy," Reid says, gently stroking the scar.

"You wouldn't love me half as much if I didn't," Luke murmurs, burying his nose in the lower curls of Reid's hair.

"This is true," Reid concedes. "You're not the only one who realises how lucky he is, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." For all his insecurities, Luke does.

They sit until Ethan comes and tells them that Emma insists they stay for dinner.

000

A few days later, they run into Kevin and Pacey, who immediately says, "Daddy, that's the man who called Doctor Reid."

Kevin gives him an awkward smile. "Hello, Luke." To Reid, "Doctor Oliver." He picks up Pacey, who's wearing a neon green t-shirt, lightweight red polka dotted pants, and brown sandals, her hair in a loose bun. "Thank you. I owe you."

"No," Luke answers, shaking his head. He tightens his grip on Reid's hand, sensing that, at any minute, Reid is going to say something insulting about the little girl's clothes. "I just did what most people would have."

"You knew his name," Pacey says, tugging her father's shirt. "Did Doctor Reid tell you?"

"Uh, no," Kevin says, looking very uncomfortable. "Luke and I were friends, cupcake."

"Boys aren't supposed to hold hands with other boys 'cept for daddies and sons," she says, glancing down at Reid and Luke's intertwined hands. Again, Luke tightens his grip. There's trying to correct a little kid on misconceptions about human relationships, and then, there's making them feel bad while you do it.

Surprisingly, Kevin sighs and gives them an apologetic look. "A lot of boys don't, but there's nothing wrong with it, Pace."

"What'd I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Kevin answers, shifting her in his arms. "I'm just praying to God you take after Mommy when you get to be a teenager." To them, he says, "Can I buy the two of you some coffee?"

"Everyone says I take after you," Pacey points out, either not reading or choosing to ignore the subtle attempt to end the conversation.

"Yeah. They do," Kevin agrees, and Luke is curious about the resignation in his tone.

Luke remembers the election and the aftermath, how Kevin had offered to buy him coffee as a peace offering. He looks at Reid, who gives him a steady look. "Reid has to get to the hospital, but some coffee sounds good," he says.

Nodding, Reid leans over and gives him a chaste kiss. "Call me, later," he says, subtle warning in his tone. "I love you." To the Davis's, "Mr and Miss Davis."

That causes a giggle and a delighted grin from Pacey. Reid simply stares at her as Luke answers, "Love you, too."

000

"This is going to sound weird," Luke says after Pacey has gone to try to feed the ducks half of her chocolate muffin, "but when I thought of you having kids, someone like her never entered my imagination."

"That's doubly true for me," Kevin says. He looks at his coffee contemplatively. "I worry about her; we both know what kids can be like. But Jackie and I would rather she be bullied and us try to help her than her be a bully. And even if it causes her pain, I want Pacey to be who she is. She's a really great kid. Of course, it'd be nice if she could occasionally wear clothes that don't cause scratchy eyes, headaches, and possibly carry the risk of causing seizures, but you know, someday, they might make a great defence mechanism, so-"

Luke feels himself laugh. "Well, you and I both wore stripes well into our twenties," he points out. "Is Jackie Pacey's mother?"

"Oh, yeah," Kevin says, digging out his wallet. "We've been married ten years now. Eleven this October." He hand Luke a picture. "She's CIA. In Japan right now."

"Wow," Luke says, feeling relief now that he understands Pacey's comment about her mother not being allowed to see them. More than that: CIA. That's a little unbelievable.

He studies the picture. It's of Kevin in a black suit with a matching tie and a short, plump woman with short, dishwater-dirty hair in a bob cut and dark blue eyes. She wears pale pink glasses and a black pant-suit, a wreath of multicoloured flowers in her hair. Her smile reveals two dimples.

Somehow, he doesn't think, 'And how exactly did you ending up with a woman like her happen?', would be very appropriate. Jackie Davis isn't ugly by any means, but she definitely wouldn't have ranked very high on Kevin's rating system for women when they were younger.

"Look," Kevin says when Luke hands the picture back, "I'm sorry for all the things I did. I know that doesn't change anything, but I am."

"It's okay," Luke says, taking a sip of his coffee. Suddenly, his desire for vodka a few days ago seems even more unreasonable than ever. "Seems like we've both become better people since back then."

"I don't think our teenage selves could even recognise us," Kevin comments. He looks over at Pacey, and then, sighs.

"What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"You don't have to tell me," Luke says. "But I don't have anywhere I need to be right now, and you know, I helped raise Faith and Natalie. I'm still helping with Ethan. So, if you want to, I won't object."

"Everyone says Pace takes after me in personality and Jackie in looks," Kevin says, in a strangely quiet tone. "That's not completely true, but sometimes, she says or does something that reminds me so much of me when I was a kid that it's just weird. And no matter what, who she is, what she does, I'm always going to love my baby girl. But God, more than anything, I want her to not grow up to be me. On the one hand, I was unhappy and hated my parents. On the other hand, I don't like the person I was, the things I did."

"Your parents had a bad marriage," Luke points out, gently. "I haven't met Jackie or seen the two of you together, but it seems like you love her. That your marriage is good."

"I do, and it is," Kevin says, smiling. "Which makes it even more freaky when Pacey's reaction to something bad is what my reaction would have been. Sure, I used it as an be-all excuse, but I did honestly think that my issues were because of them."

"She doesn't-"

"Luke, she ran away from her babysitter because Miranda wouldn't let her eat on the couch. I know, she planned to come back. But what was she going to do? Demand that we prove that she didn't hide under the couches and beds while Miranda searched the house and just happened to not hear the screaming?"

Kevin pauses, and Luke realises that he's probably realising his daughter would do something very close to that. It's a little interesting, actually. There was once a shy, plain girl that Kevin flirted with to get her English notes; one day, she was excitedly talking about burden of proof and evidence of absence and other things she was learning about in her dual-credit class. Kevin had been genuinely interested in whether someone arrested could demand that the court prove that they weren't just sitting at home, watching TV, when the crime had happened.

"And at three, she's going to go into complete silent mode to try to get me to change my mind about letting her go to her cousin's birthday party," Kevin continues, finishing his coffee.

"Are you?"

"Going to Change my mind? No. I'll want to. I'll feel like the worst dad on the planet. But if I don't stand firm now, how am I going to be able to when she gets older and starts doing even worse things? More dangerous, more cruel, better at using emotional manipulation?"

Sighing, Kevin rubs his head. "Jackie and I aren't very strict. We try to talk things out instead of punishing. But we had an agreement: She behaves at Miranda's, and she can go to the party. Instead, she left the house, wandered around a city she's not familiar with, and managed to get herself hurt."

Looking at his daughter, he continues, "You're still very idealistic. That's not an insult," he adds, hastily. "Just, most people wouldn't have done what you did. She could have passed off in the middle of the pavement, no one stopping to help. Or someone could have taken advantage of the sick little girl. And I've tried to explain that to her, but all she can see is that she thinks not being able to eat on the couch was unfair and that not getting to go to the party overly-harsh because she didn't mean to cause any harm."

Uncomfortable, acknowledging his own tendency to sometimes see everything very cut-and-dry despite his pride in being open-minded and not automatically judging, Luke says, "I wish I could help. As it is, I openly play the cool big brother card and leave my parents and others to deal with punishments."

"I remember that," Kevin says, laughing. "Remember when you promised to help me with my English homework after Kathy Parker got a boyfriend? One of your little sisters had climbed onto the roof, and we spent an hour getting her down. You paid me fifty dollars to tell your parents while you stood there pretending to try to stop me."

"They needed to know," Luke says, half-laughing, half-cringing at the memory. "I just thought me having to defend my choice in friends would be better than having to deal with Nat feeling outright betrayed. Of course, Dad already thought you were a bad influence."

"Hopefully, she won't inherit that from me." He pauses and gives Luke a measuring look. "Strangely, she and Doctor Oliver seemed to get along pretty well."

"Reid is usually pretty good with kids," Luke says. Reid claims it's because they can sense discomfort and deliberately exploit it. Personally, Luke thinks it's because Reid tones down the sarcasm and treats them like humans with thoughts and feelings of their own. "But he's very blunt. And frankly, rude. I'm surprised he didn't say anything to cause another guy I used to like to punch him."

At Kevin's look, Luke says, "Yeah. I got involved with him shortly after Noah and I had broken up. Noah was in a bad place, and he punched Reid in the nose."

"I know I didn't get to know him very well, but the thought of Noah punching someone in something other than self-defence is surprising."

"A really bad place," Luke says, wincing at the memories. "Things are better, now. They still have trouble being in the same room, but he and I are back to being friends."

"That's good."

There's a loud splash, and Luke feels panic rise when he sees Pacey is nowhere in sight. Kevin, however, just sighs and reaches out to stop him from bolting. "If she fell, there would have been a scream. And the water wouldn't be so calm. It's," he glances at his watch, "almost nine. She's got six hours to punish me until she goes into silent mode. I once got annoyed at her for jumping into water when she was wearing a new dress her aunt bought her, and Jackie was once terrified when she went swimming despite having a nasty cold."

"Well, credit for trying, I guess," Luke offers, relieved when Pacey's head pops up and she gets out to come over to them.

Kevin turns slightly. "Hey, baby girl. Did you enjoy your swim?"

"There's a giant catfish," she informs him, seriously. "Her name is Jazzie."

Nodding, Kevin hands her his last chocolate doughnut. "Was Jazzie a nice catfish?"

"She liked the muffin," Pacey says, sitting down. "But she likes salt cookies better. Are there any around here?"

"We can check."

Laughing, Luke stands. "I need to get back to work. It was nice meeting you, Pacey." To Kevin, he says, "Thanks for the coffee."

Standing, Pacey offers he free hand. Luke shakes it. "Thank you for helping me," she tells him.

"No problem. Be nice to your daddy, huh?"

"That's what Jazzie said," Pacey says, bobbing her head. "Bye, Mister Luke. Be nice to Doctor Reid."

"And make sure he's nice to you," Kevin adds, putting a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "It was nice seeing you again."

"You, too," Luke replies, sincerely.

"C'mon, cupcake," Kevin says. "Let's go find you a towel or some dry clothes."

"Mommy's sending one of those pretty kinki thingys," Pacey says as they walk away.

"Kimono," Kevin says. "It's also called a yukata. But that's not going to be here for another week or two."

"Do catfish wear clothes? I asked Jazzie, but she only talked about how her daddy bought her salt cookies."

"Uh, why don't you ask Mommy tonight? She took several classes in..."

Feeling incredibly light, Luke heads out of the park. He's not sure if something has been gained or removed, but he feels as if something good has happened. Whatever it is, he thinks the change is one that has needed to happen for a long time.


End file.
